We Need to Talk.
It’s about your feelings. I know you’re kind of stuck in a rut right now. You’ve been feeling this way for so long that you’ve started to believe that this is just who you are. And I know you’ve been pushing down the parts of yourself that are screaming that something needs to change. That makes sense, because you’ve got a lot going on in your personal life right now, and trying to make a monumental change could ruin everything. Right?
I totally get that fear of shaking things up. You can manage these feelings as long as they don’t get any worse, right? Well, let me tell you something I know through both experience and professional education. These feelings will get worse if you don’t take care of them. But I can help!
**The information on this website is purely educational and not to be used as therapy. While my post-grad job prospects are still in the air, if you think you might need a therapist, please check out BetterHelp! They have thousands of licensed therapists that you can meet with online for a fraction of the cost of in-person therapy.
My name is Nicole, and I’m training to be a marriage and family therapist.
A marriage and family therapist, at the core, is someone who is highly trained to examine the context of people’s lives. We look for patterns of behavior that cause these ruts, and help you make changes to get out of them. This type of focus is especially useful for couples and families, but the same methods can be applied to individuals.
As you may have read on my homepage, our world is full of systems. You have an internal system, where a bunch of different parts all work together to form the wonderful, meaningful human being you are. Then, you may be in a couple system, with a significant other. In this case, each of you are parts making up the system of your relationship. The same goes for family systems, and community systems, and even societal systems, if you can believe that. In each case, the whole system is greater than the sum of it’s parts. That’s right. We naturally work in systems with others because it helps us be better than we could be on our own.
Sometimes though, a wrench gets thrown in our well-oiled machines. We become afflicted by depression or anxiety or trauma, which changes how we perform in our systems. When our interactions stop going well because of what we’re going through, we start to feel like it’s our fault, which messes with our internal system even more, and makes the system function less and less. I can help you change the non-functioning interaction patterns you’re stuck in, which effectively stops the negative cycle.
Who Am I?
Again, my name is Nicole, I’m 24 years old (that’s a question I get quite often!), and I’m about to graduate with my master’s degree in marriage and family therapy from the only accredited MFT program in New Jersey, Seton Hall University. I’ve been so fortunate to have amazing professors and colleagues there who push me to be not only the best therapist possible, but the best version of myself.
Before SHU, I completed my undergraduate degree at West Chester University of Pennsylvania, which were the best four years of my life. They may have had to drag me out kicking and screaming. Hah. We’re laughing. It’s fine. While I was there, I majored in psychology and minored in creative writing. This unconventional pairing actually proved quite useful, as it informs my theoretical orientation, which pulls from both Internal Family Systems and Narrative Therapy.
Right now, I’m an intern finishing up my practicum at a little clinic in Verona, New Jersey. Soon, I’ll find a clinic or private practice that will give me money to do therapy, but for now, I’m very happy to just hone in on my skills and help people.
I’m All Over the Interwebs.
You can find me all over social media dropping little tips to help you manage your systems more effectively.